REVISED CHRISTMAS STORY
by Michael Larocca
preserved by Tandy Way t.a.b.b. sysop
WARNING!!! WARNING!!! THE FOLLOWING IS X-RATED

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS AND ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE,
THE WHOLE DAMNED FAMILY WAS AS DRUNK AS A LOUSE.

UP FROM THE WHOREHOUSE AND UP FROM THE JAIL I JUST SETTLED DOWN FOR A NICE
PIECE OF TAIL.
WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN I HEARD SUCH A CLATTER,
I AROSE FROM MY SISTER-IN-LAW TO SEE WHAT WAS THE MATTER.
I WENT TO THE WINDOW AS QUICK AS A FLASH,
SLIPPING ON THE RUG AND BUSTING MY ASS.
WHEN TO WHAT MY BLOODSHOT EYES WOULD APPEAR,
BUT A LITTLE OLD MAN AND 8 FUCKING REINDEER.
HE GOT OUT OF HIS SLAY BEATING HIS DICK,
AND I KNEW IN A MOMENT IT MUST BE ST.NICK.
CAME DOWN THE CHIMNEY LIKE A BAT OUT OF HELL,
AND I KNEW IN A MINUTE THE FAT FUCKER HAD FELL.
FILLED ALL THE STOCKINGS WITH RUBBERS AND BEER,
AND A BIG RUBBER DICK FOR THE FAMILY QUEER.

I HEARD HIM COMPLAIN AS HE RODE OUT OF SIGHT,
"PISS ON YOU ALL IT'S BEEN ONE HELL OF A NIGHT."